Emotional labour is a two-way street

This. It comes up a bit for me with queer issues, as I know I’m a very out and public voice for queer inclusion/discussions. That said, I’ve had to tell well-meaning allies more than once: you know I’ve already discussed this a billion times. Maybe, y’know, go back through my archive and quote me? I don’t have to be physically present. That’s the whole point of education—passing on the knowledge. It doesn’t have to be me coming in and saying it for you.

And never, ever, show me links with images of people who’ve been bashed without warning me. I’ve had more than one “did you see this?” with a link I had no idea was going to be that disturbing.

Enthusiasm makes the difference

(I share this seagull’s irritation. Photo by Dustin Liebenow)

Ethan: Hey Audra, a friend of mine is getting beat up by a bunch of MRAs… I took a swing at them but could use some help. Any suggestions? [LINK REMOVED BECAUSE IT’S SUPER TRIGGERING.]

Audra: Jesus I thought you meant actually beat up.

Ethan: Yes, sorry… on FB

Audra: For fuck sake. It’s not cool to send someone a link to a thread where there are graphic images of violence against women being posted.

Ethan: Not sure how to respond to that. Trying to help a friend not cause more problems for someone else.

Audra: Sure I guess maybe be more considerate when you are asking someone for intense emotional labour out of the blue?

Ethan: Fair enough.


Audra: Did you unfriend me because I was critical of the…

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2 thoughts on “Emotional labour is a two-way street

  1. Pingback: [BLOG] Some Tuesday links | A Bit More Detail

  2. Yah… Violence warnings are imperative! Don’t want to trigger other folks who may have their own PTSD or trauma survivor issues, having flashbacks, etc.. So, yep! Couldn’t agree with you more, nathan.


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